one response to staging … by 10 year old

[what if conceptual art was taught in fifth grade? here is the assignment for this week, but accomplished by a 10 year old — and I will think about it this week]

In one year and out the other

From the point of view of 2006. We start off in INT. 2006’s apartment. 2006 items: various different bumper stickers, magazines, Meals, books, and other things from 2006. In the room there is a very, very white television in the center, and 2 very, very white telephones to either side. Other then that, everything in a cluttered mess there in the middle of this mess is someone in a costume that at first just looks like a very large pile of the same mess that clutters up the room. 2006 stands up and turns on the T.V. JOHN and JAMES and EMILY, the newscasters, are standing stage left, middle, and right, respectively.

EXT. new years ball.
JAMES: and we’re back at channel 3.14159265, with the New Year’s countdown!
JOHN: YEAH!
EMILY: and, as I see by the clock, we have 3 minutes 24 seconds till the New Year is here!
JOHN: YEAH!
JAMES: just enough time for a live performance of “Mr. John brown likes to feed dinosaurs baked potatoes at 2:48 p.m.” performed bythe “pre-revolutions”
JOHN: YEAH!

Cut to:
INT. large concert hall. In it are the PRE-REVOULUTIONS, WOMAN, MAN,and AUDIENCE.
WOMAN: …so, without further ado, the pre-revolutions!
(As we zoom closer, we see that MAN is john)
MAN: YEAH!
PRE-REVOULUTIONS: (a very loud rock band) I am a pig! You are a pig! Ilike figs! You like figs! I have a nose! I strike a pose! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! NOW, HERE IS OUR SONG! YEAH!!!!!
Summer come passed innocent never wake up September like fathers to seven has so wake up September here the again falling the Drenched my again who are my rests never what lost me when ends!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cut to:
EXT. new years ball EMILY
EMILY: and here we are and in 2 minutes we will have our new yea-(T.V. clicks off)
INT. 2006’s apartment.
(2006 picks up both phones, and dials some numbers)
(Triple split screen- on one side)
INT. 2006’s apartment (And on the other)
INT. 2007’s apartment (And on the other)
INT. 2005’s apartment.
(All three are cluttered messes- and, all 3 have a white T.V. and 2 white telephones. The only difference is that the 2005 one has 2005 things, the 2006 one has 2006 things, and the 2007 one has 2007 things in it.)
2006: hi guys!
2007: well, a new year was about an hour ago, here!
2005: and it’s an hour till new years, here!
2006: and here they are just about to count down from ten!(The following 3 lines are simultaneous)
2006:10, 9, 8, 7,6,5,4,3,2,1…
2005:1:10, 1:09, 1:08, 1:07, 1:06, 1:05, 1:04,1:03,1:02,1:01,1:00…
2007:-1:10, -1:09, -1:08, -1:07, -1:06, -1:05, -1:04,-1:03,-1:02,-1:01,-1:00…
2006: HAPPY NEW YEARS!
2005: HAPPY ONE HOUR UNTIL NEW YEARS!
2007: HAPPY ONE HOUR AFTER NEW YEARS!
2005: bye.
2007: bye (Go off split screen)
EXT. 2006

White swirly things fill up room, then leave. Room is now filled with 2007 things. 2006 (now 2007) leaves the room. Fade out. Credits. The end.